Men and Self Expression
For men the expression of feelings is often difficult. Typically men were taught as boys not to feel or talk about their feelings. Men were usually taught they have one primary emotion, anger. Later in life if they grow at all they quickly learn that anger is not well received. This leads to silence, compliance, passive aggression or as last resort… being angry. So how then do men express hurt?
Men are more often taught how to get through their emotions, not what they are or what to do with them!
This early childhood programming makes it impossible as a man to be able to express what you’re actually feeling. This is often because those feelings and everything associated with them are suppressed and lay in the unconscious. Therefore the ability to express yourself is very difficult.
Whereas women are taught the complete opposite. So when communicating men often have difficulty because they can’t put words to feelings because they can barely feel the feelings let alone even have a language for them.
I assist men with getting in touch with what they want to express and then provide them with the words. Then I assist them in reconnecting with their feelings. So they can then apply words to their feelings. Then they can then both understand and express themselves in a healthy way. This creates the opportunity to heal and create more desirable relationships.
As men in a relationship with women or a partner, we often have no way to express ourselves. This then often infuriates the woman or partner. They often then believe that men do not want to communicate their feelings or emotions. Or maybe they are stubborn, impossible, holding out or denying what the woman/partner needs. This is all a misperception, in most cases.
The truth is that men often can’t communicate, because they do not have the skill. And even if they have some understanding of their feelings underneath, they have a program/unconscious belief that tells them do not express yourself. So, they are fighting with this inner voice. A voice that says do not say how you feel, because often it meant a point of weakness or abuse from the external world by showing you had feelings or emotions.
These feelings and emotions would often then be taken advantage of by other boys, parents, men, women etc. This then only proved the inner voice to be correct and reinforced; do not express yourself. Men are actually fighting against this program, while their woman/partner is requiring them or seemingly demanding of them to express themselves. This then kicks in the program of failing or not pleasing someone they love.
This compounds the ability to express or understand themselves. Which in turn makes expression and providing their partner with what the are requesting nearly impossible and can actually cause a complete shut down.
In actuality they may want to express themselves, but their inner voice and programming is saying do not, and there is imminent danger if you do.
For more information or assistance in relationship communication for both men and women or men’s self discovery, please contact us: @ adele@adeleandmichael.com
With much love,
Michael
