Agendas & Intimacy
You can start to look at your agendas. What are your agendas when you’re around people? Your agenda is to be noticed, your agenda is somebody to hear you, your agenda is somebody to respect you, your agenda is you want somebody to talk to you, you want somebody to . . . You have all these agendas going on about people. So you walk into anywhere with people and it’s one of the reasons why your system tenses, because you already have an agenda. At some level you’re seeking out already how’s that agenda going to get met? How am I going to get it met?
You know it’s like, you know the common one is like people sit around and they can’t sit quietly together so somebody’s got to talk. Well, the person talking has an agenda! They might not be saying anything. They just want to stimulate something to get it returned. That’s often why people sit ’round and say nothing for hours. “Oh it was great conversation.” And you walk away going . . . But it was a great conversation for them because they got all the attention they wanted, all the interaction they wanted, they got a disturbance that they wanted, they created a drama between somebody that they wanted.
They had some kind of agenda going on with people.
Learn to go with people without an agenda. If you can learn to be with other people without any agenda – even the agenda to hold the conversation, no agenda whatsoever will allow what needs to be to be. It will allow you to be who you are, them who they are and then you can just interact together or not.
But your agenda, remember, everybody comes in with their agendas however unconscious they are. You have an agenda, they have an agenda. Well, why do you think it’s tense with a group of people? Well, you got 50 agendas, and multiple agendas from 50 different people. No wonder there’s tension in the room – somebody’s waiting for something to happen, somebody’s waiting for somebody to say something, somebody’s waiting to say something themselves, somebody’s . . . . and you got all this energy bouncing around the room while unconsciously they don’t even know what’s going on and they’re all sitting there like, “Wow, this is really calm.”
Like, you have all this energy, so remember this is where your energy field comes into play and it’s more than just what you see. You have 50 energy fields with let’s say each having 50 agendas going on at the same time, all bouncing off of each other. What are the possibilities numerically? 50 by 50 by whatever, it’s like phew what are the combinations, it’s got to be in the millions. So no wonder you get tense around people. When you can go in with no agenda at first you’ll just begin to feel theirs. Then you’ll learn to let theirs go past. Then you’ll be able to sit there even when they have their agendas.
You come into a group with an agenda not to have silence. So here’s just an agenda. I will not allow silence to be. No silence is allowed is an agenda. Well that’s a tension already. So how can you even sit silent even if you’re sitting silent?